Failed attempts at living simple life [part 5]

That was like 14 years ago but i can remember it so clearly as it was yesterday. Of course, that's when i don't take their pills...
The ugly women that took me away from school that day brought me to a center for orphan kids. It was quite nice taking into consideration that 'till that point i didn't speak with anyone else than Sandra. So i had the chance to talk with many kids, most of them my age and i couldn't help not feeling different. I wasn't quite eager to share their passion for toys or football, not to mention dirty words. I admit some of them were funny but in the end i was realizing that they're dumb.
I spent 3 long months there and in one cold morning one of the caretakers woke me up saying that Sandra is here and i should get my stuff and get dressed fast because she'll be taking me back home. I remember even now...
-C'mon, hurry up! Aren't you excited you're going back home?
-No, not really... I replied.
-How come? Why not?
-Well, it's complicated. You see... I took a look around the room. All the other kids were sleeping and i could see strange smiles on their faces but i had no idea what they mean. Maybe they're happy for me...
-Listen Alexander... I have no idea what kind of person is Sandra, frankly, i don't even care. What i know for sure is that you'd be better with her than here with all of us. Not all people are mean and she can help you have a better future.
-I just cannot trust you! I still have found no reason to trust people. Every time i did so far, i got hurt.
-Then don't trust me, trust what i'm saying. Pack everything fast and come down with me. When you get home and have a few hours alone try to find news-paper articles that Sandra is hiding from you. Read them and you'll gain a valuable piece of information about your past. This will make you stronger... Now c'mon, let's go!
I nodded. What's the worst that could happen? I'll get everything packed right away and go down showing a fake smile. I just hope Sandra changed a bit...
You'd think i deserve more, you'd think i deserve a little bit of luck, you'd think i shouldn't be afraid to put my trust in people... Listen to this...
Me and Sandra got home fast. She seems happy that she was able to get me back, she has a warm spark in her eyes right now.
-Why did you leave? She asked me with a warm look. Haven't i given you enough? Haven't i allow you to do whatever you wanted? Her face changed, she was angry now. I was working my ass off for you and you show me your gratitude by disappearing?!
-Sandra, listen... You were bringing a different man each night, you were gone almost the entire day and you were drunk when you didn't go to work. I don't...
She slapped me harder than ever. And then she did it again and again... 'Till i grabbed her hands, pulled her down, closer to my face, and... All i remember after that was me watching TV. I was really curious where Sandra was so i left my room to look for her. She was not at home.
-Home alone... I said. Pft, imma keep watching TV... But then, all of a sudden the words of the caretaker rang loudly into my head "news-paper articles that Sandra is hiding from you". Let's see, where does she usually hide things?
It took me only 5 minutes to find a file filled with news-paper articles. The first one had a strange title "God took 10 souls today and gave back just 1". I continued reading for hours because there were like 50 articles. When i finished and took a moment to understand all of them i could feel my heart stopping, i could feel all the air in the room running away from me, i could feel my soul crying...

To be continued...