24 [Episode 4]

“He won’t do anything. I don’t even care if he was a cop or not, actually I hope I didn’t call a cop because he will never guess what’s going on! Nevertheless, who would think about what I’m going to do? Nobody!” She kept smiling in the mirror, admiring herself and her cuts. “People nowadays are so ignorant! Put more of them at the same spot and they will even watch another person die without doing anything, thinking that the person right next to them will. Pathetic! That’s why I have no chance to fail, not even if I go with a bandana around my eyes!” Then she turned around, killed the light, closed the door, took a deep breath and went inside the kitchen. A quick look at the clock and she was ready for her biggest day. “It’s 12:45. Just a few more hours and I will achieve immortality, I will become a legend! Oh, how I will crumble their reality today! But first, I’d better eat something...”
Life’s harder than a rock sometimes. No doubts that life is as cruel as Lucifer himself with some people. Sara knew this better than anyone, or she loved to think so. She was born exactly 25 years ago, on 12 December 1985. A cold winter, a cold bed, a cold mother. Her mother gave her life so that she may live, so that she may taste fresh air, feel the green grass, experience love and all those great things that make life beautiful. One thing her mother forgot to mention: her husband. Sara referred to him as a thing for his entire life, always called him ‘dude’ and never loved him. Sara’s father was a drunk and a drug addict. Nevertheless he had a well paid job, lots of friends and at a certain point she even found a clear smile on his face. Alcohol was already a huge problem for him, it made him lose his job but not his ‘friends’. Sara remembered the days when she used to come back from school to find her father laughing with his friends in the kitchen, drunk as hell, as if life was amazing. Then things got worse…
“Don’t regret it Sara, not at all! You did the right thing, he deserved it!” her mother’s voice echoed in her head whenever she remembered that day. Things weren’t going so smooth at school, she fell in love with a boy that wasn’t giving her any attention, the grades dropped because she just couldn’t find silence at home to study and she got into a fight with one of her classmates. Sara was just happy that finally school ended and she can go home to listen to music in her room without being bothered by anyone. She got home faster than ever:
-Hey, I’m home!
-Sara, how are you my dear?
-Aw man, you’re drunk again! Leave me alone, go to sleep!
-Honey be careful how you talk with your dad!
-Ya, whatever...
-You may be 10 but I raised you, I gave you food, I gave you a home! Stupid kids, they are never grateful for the sacrifices their parents do! Her father said hitting the table hard with his fist.
-Shut up! You never sacrificed anything! You always did what you wanted to, you always brought your friends over and got drunk even if I was asking you not to because I have to study! Don’t give me that bullshit because I’m not buying it!
He slapped her. Harder than ever... Her cheek became red instantly and it felt as if 1000 lightning bolts were playing underneath her skin. Sara put her right palm over it without knowing how to react. She just couldn’t hear anything around her but she saw her father screaming, waving his hands and throwing things all over the place, filled with anger. It was something strange in his eyes. It wasn’t the same person she knew. Eventually he stopped and went back to the kitchen for another drink. She took advantage, ran into her room and closed the door with the key. Apparently he heard it and rage filled him once again. He started pounding at the door while Sara stood speechless near her window listening how the wood from which the door was made did its best to keep the enraged father away. It didn’t last for long, the door eventually gave away and he blasted inside with fire in his eyes. He did not slap her this time, instead he grabbed her right arm and pulled her away from the window throwing her in the bed. Then slowly, while she was crying with all of her soul, he started untying his belt, then his shirt, smiling like a crazy, mindless freak. “Don’t you give up! Stand up, stop crying!” her mother’s voice shouted in her head. “Kick him in the balls!” She did so and then ran outside without shoes, without a jacket. “Police, the police can help me!” she thought. Sara ran ‘till the closest Police station without even looking back for 1 second. When she entered the building her mind focused on the first chair available where she sat with her feet bruised and her face half red and burst into tears. Tears of fear, tears of joy, tears of safety, it didn’t even matter much because it felt good, it felt like the only right thing to do. She stood there for like 5 minutes crying and crying without a single police officer to ask her if she’s okay. Eventually, a voice screamed from behind the desk:
-Get out of here!
Sara was amazed. She stopped crying instantly and lifted her head. Her eyes were swollen from all those tears and she couldn’t see much.
-But I need help, my dad tried to rape me!
-Maybe later, we’re watching the game now, get out! The same voice answered.
Sara started crying again but this time they were tears of fear. She knew that she had to go home eventually where the monster waits. Her mind was looking for solutions but nothing could be found. It was already night and rather cold, she had not eaten anything and she had a huge homework for the next day. As she got closer to her block her heart started beating faster and faster ‘till she could literally hear the beats. Instinct took over her and from somewhere deep inside, from places she never knew, courage embraced her heart. She looked around for something sharp, something to defend herself but slowly the courage started to disappear, until she remembered about the broken window at the entrance. “I will take a fragment of glass and if he tries to do anything to me I will stick it in his stomach!” Said and done, Sara was facing her flat’s door but right when she decided to take a deep breath and push the handle, the door opened and she closed her eyes throwing her arm to defend herself.
-Sara, forgive me, I don’t...
The glass went deep inside her father’s neck causing him to bleed to death while Sara watched even the last piece of life fading away from his body. It felt good, strange but good, so she didn’t even shed a tear. She ran inside the bathroom took a razorblade and cut her soft face. “He tried to cut me and then he tried to rape me. It was self defense, let him die.”
“Fuck it, I did the right thing!” she thought as she poured some ketchup on a slice of bread.


To be continued...

24 [Episode 3]

Time always seems to fly when we’re happy or when we concentrate our mind on something that requires attention. Sometimes we have hard times understanding how we can accomplish so few things in such a big amount of time. Hours and hours of thinking for just a simple math exercise or hours of concentration for an idea just to realize that after you found it the satisfaction isn’t quite what you expected. We’re always striving for more, always tackling bigger heights, always setting new and more ambitious objectives.
In David’s case every single second of his life was as important as the safety of his eyes. Nevertheless when he was working at achieving the one thing that mattered to him time flew just like a bird. He used to do research for 20 hours without even realizing as if he would have lost his touch with reality, as if he would slip into a state of nirvana; finding the rules of reincarnation was what made him feel complete. “You’re chasing a mirage!” friends and parents used to tell him. This was bringing him down from time to time but he knew it won’t be easy when he took the decision in the first place, David knew that such a big thing will require his entire energy and nerves. It wasn’t as if he was the only one chasing this dream, it wasn’t as if he found something amazing that others didn’t realize, the only thing pushing him forward and keeping him on the right track was hard to explain but he could feel it. “If I feel it, there’s no doubts, it’s true!” he convinced himself.
The road to the supermarket was quite long. 20 minutes from sidewalk to sidewalk, crossing two streets and then his destination was waiting. Nevertheless, David always felt it’s a waste of time because nothing useful could’ve been done there. You can only spend your money on things you need more or less, stay in line to pay for them and then walk back home. He used to think that the essence of reincarnation lies in human behavior and that the pattern can be discovered by studying a generation of people. So he used to go to public places and lose time observing human behavior, watching at the way people react in different circumstances, the way people take decisions regarding a product or the way people think about God or the church. Then he found out that there is no rule for which one soul will reincarnate in the same family. By studying an old book his grandfather had in the library he found out that the soul isn’t aware of its state when it leaves a body and that it will instantly go into the first body available. Ever since this 'revelation' came, public places became just a place here he could not think straight or a place where he used to waste time with his girlfriend. “I wonder what is she doing...”. David knew that she loves him and that she thinks that no other boy in the world could make her feel happier but the way she was sometimes treating him was just awful. David was the type of guy that would offer his entire affection, energy, money, health, his everything to the person he loved, in exchange demanding at least communication. His past relationships were nothing like what he was searching for and that could be a reason for which he ended them after a short period of time. Nevertheless while they lasted he used to give his best in making it work thinking that eventually it will all worth the fuss. Obviously it didn’t and just the thought that he lost so much time and energy for nothing was making him feel angrier than ever. “I will never be able to understand why girls say there’s nothing wrong with them when obviously something is! Nevertheless we are supposed to keep asking because they love the attention but we will never be appreciated for this. Again, in a moment of complete rage all of this “there’s nothing wrong” moments will pop out and a huge fight will take birth. Strange beings they are...” but he also realized that loneliness is a lot worse. “You can’t live with them, you can’t live without them. Ain’t that some bullshit!”
Deep in his thoughts he didn’t even see that approaching car as he was crossing the street. A loud horn woke him up back to reality and he had to command his legs to move as fast as they can to avoid the impact. “Screw you stupid driver! I am allowed to cross through here, moron!” but the car didn’t stop. He could see the supermarket now thus his mind went straight to time: “Ah, damn it! Another 20 minutes of my life I’m never getting back!”. He was studying reincarnation with a lot of passion but this obsession gave birth to another one: the obsession with time. David became aware of this after a few months he took the decision to find how he could know in which family he would reincarnate after death. At first he thought that his cause is childish for he will never have enough time to achieve his goal. “This will take more than a lifetime, maybe an entire Eon!” he used to say when he was coming to a dead end. “Hurry up David, hurry up! There’s no time!” a female voice was shouting in his head whenever this situation was happening. He had no idea why it was a female voice and whom did it belong to. It wasn’t his mother, it wasn’t one of his ex girlfriends or his current one and he had never met his grandmother. "There's no time you say? I will show you there is time!" he was always shouting deep inside of him.
He entered the supermarket’s parking lot looking at all the cars parked there. Most of them fancy cars, a few of them regular cars probably owned by regular hard working people. “Aw man, give me one of those fancy cars and I would have money for my research! I’d sell it without second thoughts, I’d let somebody else abuse mother earth. I will never get it why people are so obsessed with technology and finding better ways of exploiting the earth. You dumbasses, God gave fire, sun, two legs and two arms and our ancestors were able to live without cars or plains! There are much more important and bigger things in life...”. From there the rage embraced his heart. A small and mild rage but it made him forget about everything else and he woke up at home.
-Here you go mum, I wasted exactly 1 hour and 18 minutes of today for these groceries...
-Ya, but you won some money darling. You will learn eventually how hard money are earned.
-I guess you’re right. Did anyone call? I forgot my phone in the bedroom.
-No idea honey. I didn’t hear a thing.
-I must have let it on silent... He went into his bedroom and pressed a key on the phone. The screen lighted and his eyes grew a lot bigger while his heart started pounding as fast as car engine at 5000 rpms.


To be continued...

24 [Episode 2]

-It’s bullshit, I’m sure of it! No way in hell someone would phone me to say that he’s planning to pull off a terrorist attack or something. But still I wonder who the hell did that stupid joke.
-Honey, who are you talking with?
-Sorry mum, I was just talking with myself. What’s up?
-I need you to go out and grab some groceries, I’m not in the mood to get out of the house today. Here’s the list and the money, of course there’s a little extra for yourself just to motivate you to go.
-Awesome... Ya, okay, I will go.
His mother went back to bed and opened the TV. “10.000 Christians screamed their souls out against jews in our contru exactly 115 years ago at this very same hour and in this very same place. This didn’t happen because of religion but more because of the fact that the jews were living a much better, carefree life and while some say the people were driven by pure envy, a few consider that racism was a cause as well. Nevertheless 115 years ago, our country had a dark day which is today commemorated by just a few jews, relatives of the ones that lost their lives that day.” Even thou David heard these words they went right through him without bringing anything to life in his mind. For all he knew, this was just another useless story made by a reporter that had nothing else to talk about.
David got dressed real fast but before walking out the door he went back in his bedroom and took a pair of gloves.
-David, I hope you don’t have your shoes on!
-No mum, I don’t! Then he took a look at his feet and admired his Adidas snickers.
-Okay, hurry up then, I need to prepare supper before your dad gets home from work!
-Ya, ya, ya. I’ll be right back!
Then he opened the door and a strange cold hit his face making him lose his breath for a moment. David froze for a few moments but then closed the door and started climbing down the stairs. When he reached ground level he realized the source of the cold air that just took his breath: the front door had been left open by someone and the -5 degrees outside were slowly going inside the staircase. A strange feeling of going back inside the house embraced his heart. “God, I hate winters so much!”. But he pressed on and walked out. The weather was cloudy, moody and sad, it felt as if nobody would want to go out on a time like this.
David hated winters a lot. The negative temperatures obviously forced him to put on a lot of clothes and the ones thing that he was never able to do was to buy winter clothes. So he was just dressing with all his other clothes: 1 t-shirt, 2 sweaters, 1 blouse and a not so very warmy jacket that he loved to wear during spring or autumn. Summer on the other hand was his favorite time of the year. The days were long and beautiful, warm and full of life. Nights were a little bit colder but he loved to feel chills on his skin as he enjoyed a cold bear with his t-shirt on his shoulders outside with his friends. During summer he used to skip sleeping just to enjoy life. Only 4 or 5 hours of sleep per night were more than enough to get his batteries full so he was going to bed at around 4 in the morning and waking up early at around 8. Then he did his regular stuff like coffee, reading news while waiting for his other friends to wake up. David never really understood why some people loved sleeping so much. First of all one can never have full control over his dreams while asleep and even if David had a lot of nightmares and strange dreams this wasn’t the main reason. He was having just a few hours of sleep because he considered that life shouldn’t be spent in bed, life is meant to be lived and to live it at maximum you need to be awake. Of course, dreaming was another thing he loved at summer. When he was going to the country side or just for a short picnic in the forest he used to separate from the others, find a place with lots of green grass and he used to lay there looking at the sky, dreaming. Dreaming of another life, dreaming of another family, dreaming of money, of love, of superpowers; he loved to lose himself in a fantasy world where everything was more or less perfect. Then the first shout coming from his friends “David, let’s go back home, it’s getting late!” was bringing him back to reality, was hitting him just like a punch in the stomach. He used to take a deep breath, nodded in silence, smiled a bit and got up starting to walk back to the car. All of these things weren’t possible during the winter, one can’t even take a walk during winter without getting his ass frozen. Nevertheless he had a long walk in front of him right now and he was sure that his ass will be frozen when he’ll be back. Moreover even if the temperatures were negative since a few days ago, no snow fell so far so even the dirt felt like concrete when he stepped over it.
A quick look at the watch revealed him how many hours from the day passed: 11:24. “Aw, damn it, it’s almost noon and I haven’t done anything yet! I’d better hurry up!”

To be continued...