I'm missing...

The title may lead you to something else but i am talking about the past. It's fucking weird how time passes really fast when you're happy and slow as shit when you're in pain and misery. Also it seems that we can't always remember details about a certain moment when we felt happiness in it's true meaning... For example, i remember perfectly, each second, when i first broke my left hand. I remember each tear and the stupid boogies poring from my nose while i stood like a homeless kid on the stairs of the block alone. Alone because all the other kids got scared and ran away!

Anyway, i miss childhood. I hate growing older although when i was a kid all i wanted was to reach 18, to grow-up. I miss that time when i didn't know the meaning of words like: responsibility, worries, money or work. I miss hearing my mum saying "It's 9 o'clock! Go outside and play!", i miss playing with toy cars in the dirt, i miss playing 'hide and seek', i miss eating warm bread while playing football, i miss fighting with the other kids and after 30 minutes getting back to being friends, i miss watching Tom & Jerry, i miss playing "Flori, fete sau baieti" (sorry guys, idk any translation) or "Porcu rade/Ciocolata". I miss the concept of liking a girl back then, when we were literally kicking them to show our "love". I miss running like a freak all day long and i miss cursing older people and then running away laughing.

It's fucking strange how things "evolve" nowadays. Obviously i know kids of 8 or 10 y/o that instead of going outside and play, they waste their childhood in front of a computer playing video-games and chatting online. Well, this should be a good thing because internet is supposed to mean the best way of information providing infinite sources of knowledge. But... You all know the downside of this. You all know the "messenger" language and the "cool" language: instead of 'E' they use '3', instead of "i" they use "1" or "!", instead of "c" they use "k" and so on. You'd think they are getting wiser and their minds are stronger but it isn't quite so...

Then there's the other side. The ones that go outside and "play". Fun in their way?! Fuck yeah! Smokes, alcohool, spices, hip-hop and "manele" (you know what this is!) singing from fancy phones behind blocks. I was shocked a couple of days ago when i heard that a grown up was stabbed by a 11 y/o with a fucking screwdriver! The reason?! The dude didn't want to lend that kid a smoke! Well scream with me: HOLLY FUCKING FUCK! When i was that young all i was thinking about was getting money to buy a fancy plastic robot, a radio controlled car or shetloads of chocolate, sweets and juice! I hate myself for this but i am getting back to my older question "Is everything fucked up?" and the only answer i know is "Seems so!" Okay let's say i'm being judge mental here, you'd think that it's their life and they can do whatever they want with it but think about the future for a second. What will society become if the youth acts like this?

Still, i miss school, i miss high-school, i miss playing "Rentz" in the bar from 8 in the morning till 2 in the afternoon while struggling to drink a coffee in 4 hours. I miss throwing with eggs in the crowd during Easter night when everybody seems to forget its sins and head to a church for the Holly Light. I miss getting my ass kicked by mum for not being at home at 9 PM, i miss seeing one of my friends getting his ass kicked for stealing money from his mother after she finds out about it. I miss cursing old ladies for not letting me climb up tree, i miss making parachutes from bed lingerie and then throwing ourselves from the 1st floor of the kinder garden. I miss playing in the snow with boogies poring from my nose, i miss throwing a stick at tree branches for apricots or climbing up a tree up 'till the 3rd floor of a block just to get a handful of cherries, i miss falling down from a tree, i miss making boulders from wet dirt and throwing them at a wall. Fuck! I'm a nostalgic!

It's strange to walk through the neighborhood where you grew up and see that everything has changed. Some trees are no longer there, there are more cars, the fences which we used to climb are no more, the entrance doors from the block are painted in a different color, the old lady that was never letting you play football in front of her window is no longer there, the holes in the dirt where we used to throw coins are no longer there, the sidewalks where we used to draw with chalk are occupied by cars... Just remembering everything how it used to be seems to bring a strange smile upon your face, the feeling is awesome!

So work with me and let's invent a fucking time machine!